Posted by: markashworth | June 23, 2010

Fee Fi Fo Fum

One unsuspecting evening, I got into a taxi and…

‘You’re from England!’


‘You are an Englishman.’

‘Well.. Yeah I guess so.’

*taxi driver emits waves of pride around the cab*

‘You want to know how I know?’

‘Sure. Go on.’

‘There are 5 English speaking countries. US, Australia, New Zealand, England and Scotland’

‘… and Ireland’

‘Maybe..but Ireland is too small already.’


‘Anyway. You don’t have the Australia or New Zealand accent. I can’t understand those Scottish. So left either US or England’


‘So then you choose which reason I think you’re English. 1. You look like Harry Potter. 2. You are more handsome than Americans or 3. Your smell.’


‘Correct! Actually all three… you are handsome and look like that Harry Potter… but I can tell from your smell. You smell like an Englishman. I can tell, I’ve had a lot of Englishmen in my cab.’

‘I’ve just been running round the track. I need to get home and get a shower.’

‘You smell like an Englishman. I know. Every nationality has their own smell!’


‘Okay that’s ten dollars Mr. Harry Potter. Have a good night Harry Potter!’



  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Tessa Wong, Ashwin Seshadri. Ashwin Seshadri said: haha this dude's funny.. RT @tessa_wong: Words of wisdom from SG taxi drivers, from an expat's pt of view. Pretty funny […]

  2. Your post are one-sided and stereotypical. Oh well, perhaps thats typical of UK expat?

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